need a holiday

the fact that everyone around me is on holiday or at least does not have to go back to work next week is starting to seriously bum me out. especially when my weekends of late haven't exactly be "rest and do nothing" type weekends! Ht seems like there is something constantly on, this weekend: engagement party tonight, wedding tomorrow i just want to do nothing!! I want to be on leave, i want nothing to do, i want the boredom to kill me... WOW i need a holiday!!

I could kill my brother....

I am so tiered today it is ridiculus....

Got woken up by a phone call from my brother at 3:30 this morning that started with "Hey sis, listen I've just been in a fight..." I stopped listening after that and procceeded to go into full panic mood, pulling pants on, trying to get shoes on trying to figure out how to get my car out because i was parked, should I just "steal" the brother's girlfriend's car seeing how she had parked me in in this time of needed.....

My brother then shouted "WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING??? I just need you to unlatch the front door so I can come inside... Turns out that him and the girlfriend had had a moer of a fight and he had descided to come home from Dave, where the two of them were going to stay that night and left her there. When I left for work this morning all her stuff was neatly packed in a bag, that was on the roof of her car, with the car keys and a letter stating in no uncertian terms that she now disgusted him... Ask no questions, hear no lies...

Ok so my panic this morning now seems very over exaggerated and unnessasary, but if you only knew what has happened in the past it would seem quite logical. Lets start by saying that I love my brother to death but he can be a really impulsive, illogical, stubborn, moody idiot!!!! Oh and bare in mind he is 21.

Ok so a couple of months ago him and the girlfriend go to a braai at Dave's place, and procced to get drunk and apparently the girlfriend where getting a bit too touchy feel for my brother's liking, as he wasn't in his car he asked me to fetch him and seeing as he was in Randburg there was no way I was driving all the way there to fetch him (knowing what I know now I really should of just gone).
A while after that I felt bad and I tried to phone him, he never answered. From that point I started to panic, no one could get hold of him. At 2:30 the following morning we got a phone call from a petrol attendant at the engen garage on William Nicole and Sandton drive. My Idiot brother had descided to walk to the closest friend he had from where he was (again he was drunk), he was jumped by 4 guys, mugged and I can't really say beated because I injured himself fighting back. But anyway we had to go fetch him from Rosebank Clinic at 3:00 in the morning. So now when i get phone calls from him at un-godly hours of the night it tends to be panic stations.

So after that adrenalin boost I couldn't get back to sleep, so now I am so tiered I might just fall alseep at my computer...

Scrape That...

Original the plan was that early-ish next year weeball and i where going to move in together, in an attempt to make advances in the whole being independent thing... That plan is now being scraped... Not for the usual reasons such as a friend feud or whatever, actually it turns out some rather pressing matters have come up, namely the Eclipse premiere... Now if Weeball doesn't save money and get to the States to see this she simply will die, and no that is not an exaggeration or a lie, Lol...

So now as any spare money or not so spare money will be save for this mini adventure, the pursuit of Independence has been put on the back burner for a Little while :) So now it is time to devise a PLAN 2...

Plan 2: Convince Mr O that June is just too far away for it to be a feasible plan, NOW is good :) And that is plan 2...

Well Mr O did suggest moving to Honeydew, not sure why especially when the jobs he is looking at are in sunning hill, but if I can start my Independence (well sort of - will just be dependant on someone else other than my folks) and be close to work then I am happy....

So now back to Weeball and her "crazy" (wish i could) scheme... Now as her spare cash is limited and part time jobs are well just that she is in the process of devising a "get Weeball to the US for the Eclipse premiere" plan. Which may involve a bit of begging, possibly some borrowing and maybe an organ or two sale on the black market ;) Will keep all informed on the "get Weeball to the US for the Eclipse premiere" saga :)

To much still to do...

Saw this this girl i knew from high school yesterday in the shops, very corporate looking, suit heels sleek hair (I work in a lab, so anything that isn't jeans and a t-shirt must be corporate....) oh and about to pop out a kid. Have nothing against having kids, she obviously ready but just seeing her brought back the terror i felt two months back. I was late, not just a few days but a week or so... i was convinced my selfish life was over... i can't have kids, not now anyway can't even handle myself.... wow the terror!! Haha mellow dramatic i know :) but good luck to her and her budding new family and all my other friend's who have already started theirs... Give me a good couple of years :)

ghosts of boyfriends past

went to mr o's best friend's birthday Piss up. and who should be there but i high school ex, wow the world is too small! drink too much wine and decide to play pool, dyl decides he is my partner, ex: "we use to be partners, but not anymore" me, being good at acting blonde: "what in the hell are you talking about" ex: "you telling me that you honestly don't remember me... uncomfortable giggle. mr o: "what was all that about?" more uncomfortable giggling and more wine. again wow the world is too small sometimes! Haha

God's Country

Went to crystal springs (Mpumalanga) for the weekend with the family: Dad, Step mom, brother, brother’s girlfriend and Mr O. I must tell you that the thought of a family weekend doesn’t really appeal to me, my family is slightly dysfunctional to say the least and my dad can make the most pleasant things extremely stressful for all involved. But to my surprise and delight the weekend was a really enjoyable success.

Was a bit of a disaster getting down, Mr O and I took half day and we were suppose to meet the rest of the clan up there at around 5 or so. First was tyre trouble – 11/2 hrs delay. The just past the Middleburg toll there was a crazy storm so we stopped at the garage to wait for it to clear (was so bad that when we were in the shop at the garage we couldn’t even see the car) another delay. Once back o the highway traffic was moving at a snails pace, so was ready to kill by this stage, only to find out that the cause of the delay was a seven vehicle accident (there didn’t seem to be anyone seriously injured) that must of happened due to one idiot driving well like an idiot in the storm, once we had navigated past the engine pieces scattered across the highway from a seriously f#cked Matiz it seemed smooth sailing until we came to a dead holt 50kms from nowhere, We were told there was a diesel spill and it would be an hour before we could go… So I entertained myself by making friends with the donkey that had come to see what all the commotion was all about and prancing around in the rain.

Eventually when we go moving again we could see that it was not just a diesel spill, but two bakkies had collided and there was engine and diesel everywhere, it was horrendous.

So we eventually arrived at Crystal Springs in the rain and really shit fog at about 8:30, I was grumpy so went to be J

Woke up to the most amazing view on Saturday, the log cabins look over the whole valley, it was breath taking. It is the reason they call it God’s country…. Spent the rest of the day doing the touristy thing, sight seeing and such, it really is beautiful!!!! Took 400 pictures in a day and I half, figure if I take 6 pictures of the same thing I am bound to get at least one decent one…


The Beautiful views aside this weekend was really great for Mr O and myself, felt like the old us again….

I am really stiff today though, from the morning hikes, rock climbing to get a better view of things, crouching in caves and all other wonderful things, but was worth it…..

forever?

is this really what i want to be my forever? this life this man this feeling? i've been thinkin about this a lot the last few days and i'm not sure i do anymore... my biggest problem is what should my first step be to fix this incessant feel of well nothingness i guess... there are options but all seem as daunting and terrifying as the next... Shit i'm useless at fixing my own issues - when its someone else problems the next step always seems pretty easy to see, Haha. guess i should first figure out what exactly it is i do want, then work on getting rid of what i don't...

because i can

wish sometimes that people could just get over whatever issues they have. i do things because i can. i've never done anything particularly reckless or outrageously stupid. why is It now an issue what i spend MY money on? money i work hard for! if i want to buy something for me surely i can do so just because i want to and not have to deal with the grumpy questioning of oh but why? i am aware that already have a camera but its old and doesn't work so well anymore so i bought a new one because i can and i wanted to!! so get over it. anyway enough with the incoherent rambling, hope all had a good monday!

Hormones ...... Arrrrg

I hate that sometimes I feel this need to debate with myself or try come up with a logical reason for the way that I'm feeling when apparently there isn't one. Logically I know that I'm being overly:
Sensitive
Emotional
Happy
Sad
Excited
Depressed Analytical
Whatever
But no matter how had I try explain to my hormones that it is not logical to feel this way the less they care and the more i still feel whatever it is that they have decided I should feel today. Sometimes I swear I'm losing my mind. God hormones make me crazy. And as would be expected Mr O so just doesn't get it;
Mr O: Why are you upset?
Me: I don't know, I'm just feeling "off" today.
Mr O: What do you mean you don't know? That is just stupid, how can you not know why you feel what you feel?
Me: Hormones!!!
And so it goes, he thinks I exaggerate the whole hormone thing, so this conversation makes me feel "so much better" haha, and less like a complete crazy person, haha again.
Hormones..... Arrrrg

Well to change the subject from my apparent hormonal / emotional imbalance as Mr O likes to believe, this weekend is going to be AWESOME.... Will probably need another weekend to recover though :)

Tonight is the Midnight release of NEW MOON, YAY "excited face". Then tomorrow is the exclusive Brutal Fruit launch party which weeball won tickets to (she entered the 94.7 competition and won the daily prize). And as her man has decided for safety he shall be dropping us off and fetching us later the night promises to be filled with drinking, dancing and all out PARTYING....

Sunday shall then be for recovery.

Creepy Crawlies

I'm really a girly girl when it comes to insects. I hate flying things, crawling things, slithering things, web spininig things and i have a crazy and unnatural fear of christmas beettles.


My dislike for all things creepy and crawly is really inhanced when i wake up on a Tuesday morning (well any morning really) with the inability to open my right eye as something has bitten it and it is now swollen shut. I feel like the cartoon version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, you know how they drew him with one well squonck eye, well thats me today - oh so attractive....

So Much of the Fun Stuff

This weekend was so fun - proven by the fact that i am still so tiered. This may be a long one so just bear with me...

Friday night was this spur of the moment ladies night, with an old varsity friend. It wasn't so much a get hammered night but a dance until you can't anymore kind of night... There was photos of everything.... Boobs and all (haha not mine, i tend to steer clear of such crazy antics). I did however party and dance like my life depended on it, was actually sore on saturday from too much dancing (yes that is possible).

Saturday morning Weebal and I went to go visit Fidele (a friend from varsity) and drop off some of his things that Weeball was holding for him well he was back home in Rhwanda. It was so great to see him again. We also saw his wife again and got to meet his good friend (wgho his is staying with for the time being) who is a lecturer at Wits, and as the world is so small actually knows my Step father - they ride bikes together and chat on the Wild dog forum (this forum where adventure bikers chat and so on). It is so nice to talk to people like them (Fidele and his friend), they like to debate and have all these philosophycal ideas about life and everything in between. They are the type of people that choose to see the good inspite of the bad. They make me think and belive and renew my faith in people. They are just really great people.

Went to the Parlotones concert at the Coca Cola dome that night. The opening band (Spirit or something) was not very good, scratch that they were actually pretty bad, well in my opinion anyway. I really really enjoyed Crash Car Burn. The Parlotones were amazing. They really got the crowd going and seemed to love being up there which made it so easy to love watching them. Everytime i've seen them I thought they were brilliant, this time was even better though because there was so many more people. I sang along to almost every song, I jumped around. It was awesome. Even the fact that we went with princerss and the new guy she is "trying" to start something with could not have ruined it for me. The fact that they ran out of "girly drinks" as Mr O called them and they only had beer left or that it waas crazy to get anywhere near the bar did not ruin it for me either, just ate more "junk" and sang louder... Was great, went home with sore feet :)

Ended the weekend off with a family lunch at my aunt - the wealthy one who along with my granddad bought my car :D - the lunch was for my cusins 21st (which was on Tursday) and my grandad's 69th (which was on Tuesday). There was so much food as always, Oxtail potjie, lamb roast, pork roast, pot bread, garlic bread and many many salads, oh and dessert of malva pudding, Chocolate cake, caramel cake and four different types of ice cream, so as you can imagine i ate like a little pig, I'm suprised Mr O didn't need to roll me to the car... Mmm love Family lunch...

Here is hopeing that Monday and the rest of the week goes as well as the weekend went....

The burn...

Last night like every Tuesday night was yoga, and just my luck we concentrated on our stomach, i say just my luck because my poor stomach muscles where still sore from my attempt at crunches on sunday... The warm up was tough, as always. "Hold your press up just off the floor, now lift your right leg to the ceiling and lift your tummy" oh lord the pain, wrists, shoulders everywhere and this was just the warm up... Oh death to me... This was followed by the standing balances and stretches and such, which were ok, well sort of, lol. Then came the burn... The stomach/core work. On your back "lift you legs in the air, slowly lower to 60' then 30' then just above the floor and hold, then slow raise up" oh wow the burn. Seriously after a few of those i had better get a flat stomach at some point.... Surprisingly though i'm not too sore today, only really notice it if i stretch, so i'll just avoid stretching today :)Can't wait for the weekend of the 20th, the excitement for new moon is really getting to me, along with a killer need to dance and party like my life depends on it.

Really goooood weekend

this weekend was really nice, not that i'm exactly sure what i did all weekend, not a drunken can't remember but was so chilled not exactly sure i even did anything... Was really nice, love waking up on a monday feeling well rested, and not so tiered i might fall asleep driving to work, which tends to be the norm for a monday.

Spent most of the weekend thinking that although we have our ups and downs, mr o really is amazing... just as a side note :)

Since forever i've never like to really involve my self much in the so called "girlfriend club ", always found it a tad uncomfortable especially when the conversations sounds something like:
"things between x and i are... any advise" or "think x is ... have you guys heard anything"
And the thing is i don't really like to get involved because in general if you do know something its from your partner and by saying something the only think that you'll cause is mention between them and their mate. Obviously if it is your friend and not your partner's mate's girlfriend then its a completely different story, but as a general rule i prefer to steer clear of the "girlfriend club" drama.... Its nice to make friends with the girlfriends other wise those weekend Braais would be oh so boring.... But anyway that was just my thoughts oh the "girlfriend club"...

Hope this monday is a great start to a great week....

lucky Weeball....

so Weeball decide to enter that brutal fruit competition - write a short story about you your two best friends and brutal fruit. so yesterday she found out she was the winner of the daily prize... read her story on the top 8 at 8... lets all hold thumbs she wins the grand prize, two best friends get to join her on the trip... very glad for her :) but she seems to do well with competitions especially those linked to cosmo... party on the tail of her success, lol

Yoga night

Tonight is yoga night, well so are Thursday but anyway. I always look forward to yoga, not exactly sure why but think it has something to do with the feel healthy need i've been having for a while and yoga is as good as it gets.... but once i'm there and i'm tryin to contort my my body into some very unnatural usually rather painful balance twist position all i can think is shit i hate yoga.... But regardless of the pain i keep going and tuesday and thursday remain yoga nights. Well if it means anything my body is defiantly getting a slight bit stronger, i can now stand on my head with my knees on my elbows... Haha

Monday.....

I really don't like Mondays!!!
It is the day of the week that really seems to drag on forever, on a plus side though there is only a hand full of them left for the year, thank goodness....

Have you ever noticed how some people think the world owes them something and that the greater population was placed on the planet purely to meet there every whim... On Saturday we went to a family braai at Mr O's aunt (his family from Switzerland are out), and way his sister, who we'll call princess, was suppose to come with (she said she was coming and was as such catered for) anyway she never pitched nor did she let any one know she wouldn't be coming after all. So we get home from this braai at around 22:30 and princess was already at home, and she had parked her car like an idiot out side of the gate where the cars get locked up at night and had decided not to feed the poor animals, and when any one dared to ask about her pure laziness she said that she didn't feel like parking her car and that "daddy" would do it anyway, oh and she didn't think the dogs or cats would be hungry and that it isn't her job to feed them... Thing is this wasn't a once off incident, she never does anything, nor does she contribute towards anything, you know when the world still hasn't given you all the things you desire it can be quite tough. She is 30 and still takes no responsibility for anything and the still sits around and mopes about just how unfair life is... News flash life isn't fair, but you do the best with what you have got, the only person responsible for your happiness is YOU!!!!!

Well enough with the complaining about other idiots, hope your Monday was great....

Umm..

I really am glad that today is Friday, but it really is taking forever for it to reach that time of day where i get to go home!!!!!!

I am so bored, well think it is more that i am so completely frustrated with this stupid machine that seems to have little to no interested in giving me any results I can use and as it is Friday i have little to no interest in trying to fix whatever the problem is today, and the result is that i am now bored... So just ignore the fact that i am going to be posting more than once today, its the boredom....

People watching is so much fun, and the gym is a great place to enjoy this activity! You see the strangest people at gym doing the strangest things, last night there was this guy that was lifting far to much weight for strength (and was using the momentum of the weight to keep it moving not his actual strength), now as it was a strain for him to lift this weight he was pulling the most horrendous faces (weeball said he looked constipated). Anyway so we were at gym for yoga, we try go every Tuesday and Thursday night. Of late yoga seems to be getting worse and worse, last night i was burning. Unless it is not getting worse and I'm just getting weaker and have even worse balance than when i started.... Well I will just keep going in the hope that one day the pain will disappear and will have great balance, awesome core muscle strength and have reached some inner peace and/or spiritual enlightenment (apparently that's why people do yoga).

Well enough with that this weekend is all about relaxation, well at least that is the plan for tonight anyway. Tomorrow is family time with Mr O's family (his mom's one sister is out from Switzerland), his family are quite fun, his aunt (the local one) is a wine drinking party animal and once his mom hits the shooters it really is party time. So shouldn't be too bad.

At some point i really need to go and buy a kettle, pots, pans, a vacuum cleaner, iron and all sorts of house things... Need to get this moving ball rolling.

Wow its finally here...

I am so glad it is finally friday! This week has been way too long. I an so looking forward to a night of relaxation, movies, snuggling and a chocolate or three...

Nervous excitement

For a while now i have been desperately wanting to move out, of a number of reasons, family, black sheep syndrome and so on, but the main reason is that i really just want my Independence, a chance to spread my wings and start my own adventure. As things now days seem to be a tad expensive i need to start my adventure with someone. Mr O is wanting to start looking for a new job next year and pay off his car and all sorts of other things and he says that we can start looking for a place for the two of us next year sometime.

Weeball and I were discussing the exciting idea of moving out on our own in this big bad world and it got us thinking, maybe we should move in together. Now to me this sounded like i brilliant plan. Then she suggested that her boyfriend should move in with us as well as he is also desperate to move into his own place, living out of a bag can't be fun. Now even though the idea of our whole adventure coming with a cheaper price tag as everything would be split three ways instead of two, i must tell you honestly i wasn't really keen on the idea, just the though of the two of them playing house and me well just being this extra body that lived there didn't really appeal to me, if i wanted that I'd just stay home with my mother and step father. Well after a nice email from weeball explaining that we would all just have to make a concerted effort for it not to feel like that i felt a bit better. But i still felt a little weird.

So i did the usual, went to Mr O cried and claimed insanity, after a rather nice discussion and a back rub (which always helps) i realised that the only reasons I was thinking about all the negatives was because I scared, but then in all truthfulness when something is comfortable (in a sense) any change from that can be scary, and it doesn't help that i over analyse everything

Well now that I'm over my crazy paranoia (for now) I'm looking forward to moving in with my friend, if she'll still have me :)

To start

So as of today I am officially joining the "bloggers" world... As I do not exactly have a great grasp of all things technological a little assistance from my friend weeball was required to get me going in the right direction. I decided that blogging would be a good release for atleast some of my daily aggrivations so that some other poor soul wouldn't need to be on the recieving end of my sarcastic rants.

Then again I have been told by well we'll just call him Mr O that I tend to get myself worked up over well just about everything, apparently one day I'm going to give myself a heart attack, well so he says.

But don't you ever get the feeling somedays that "you just should not have gotten out of bed this morning" well for me today is one of those days. It just feels like everything that could go wrong does and things are just out to annoy me, i do know that these said things probably wouldn't annoy me half as much if it was any other day ok wait they probably would.

Take this morning for instance, traffic has been horrible of late and today it wasn't actually that bad, until i get to what is normally the quietest and nicest part of the drive and i get stuk behind so idiot going all of 40Km/hour in his NEW golf, and such is my luck that i can't change lanes as there is a woman going at exactly the same speed next to me while talking on her cellphone, needless to say i was quite annoyed when i eventually got to work. Then to make me even happier I've been trying to get the rest of my refund from University,they paid me half in April and since then I've been waiting for the rest, so for the last two weeks I have calmly been trying to get hold of Amanda in the finance department as apparently she is the one that dealt with my refund and as such is the only one that can help me or so I have been told almost everyday for the last two weeks, oh and let me add Amanda is either never there or does not know how to answer a phone, but anyway I was told today that no acctually I need to redo the documentation as it was not processed correctly and as it was signed off that documentation can no longer be used. I was annoyed.

Well guess thats enough of that, maybe tomorrow will be one of those get up and go kind of days.